Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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