You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
