and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
