After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
