Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize