I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He shit in the fireplace
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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