Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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