I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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