woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
