i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Four minutes until I can fart!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
