the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
