She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize