I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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