you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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