Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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