I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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