also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
