pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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