The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
