I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
