my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
