There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
