OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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