Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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