I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
