Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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