My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
