Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize