I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
