we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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