tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
