Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
