he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
ttyl tear gas
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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