His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
