I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My hand turned me down
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
