the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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