I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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