I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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