i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
