on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
