I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
