If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
