Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
