I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
