sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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