Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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