As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
