We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
