During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
pray to the hookup gods
Your penis caused this!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
