I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
