I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
