I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
