I think I am morally bankrupt
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
