I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
