glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
