Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
