ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
