it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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