Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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