Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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