Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
