Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
