so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
