the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
