maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
