For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
