Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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