david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She even gives head with a lisp.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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