one two three fourrrrnication!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
