I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
