you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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