is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
