so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
