Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
