Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
