dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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